Chapter Text
Gloucestershire, Fall 1816
Penelope found she rather liked having Colin and Elizabeth in her home, especially on nights like this. The wind was rushing by the windows, wine was flowing freely, and the fireplace in the dining room blazed (though the alcohol was keeping them all plenty warm). Laughter enveloped them all around the table. So this is what it was like to have friends, Penelope couldn’t remember the last time she felt such elation.
Penelope finished gulping the end of her glass of wine. Before she even finished swallowing, she was shaking her head. Ready to argue with Colin’s memory of the story, she insisted, “I had been feeding that goose for years, you were threatening its territory!”
Colin shrugged and poured more wine into Pen’s glass, “In my defense, I didn’t think the goose would get that upset over a piece of bread.”
“You ate the entire loaf!” Pen exclaimed, gesturing with her glass causing some of the wine to splash onto the table cloth.
“I am much bigger, and therefore hungrier than a goose!”
“You are lucky it bit just your ankle and didn’t take a whole toe off. However else would you be able to saunter into situations in which you don’t belong?”
“Sauntering is my husband’s preferred method of transportation.” Elizabeth chimed in. My husband. Penelope’s laughter quickly dissipated as she put her wine glass down. It was as if Elizabeth was politely reminding Penelope that her closeness with Colin was now inappropriate.
“Indeed. I bet even with the influx of wine he has consumed this evening, he will be able to walk back to his chambers, straight as an arrow." Pen rubbed her eyebrows, "Meanwhile, I will stumble back to my own room like a newborn deer.”
Colin piped up, “You may lean on my arm as I escort you back to your chambers.” Colin shifted in his seat and Penelope wondered if it took him a minute to understand the implication of his last sentence. That he offered to escort her to her room after dinner, as a husband might.
Penelope tried to hide her flush by bringing her wine glass up to her face, but she didn’t take another sip. Already drunk, Penelope was concerned what confessions may spill from her own tongue if she dared another taste.
Elizabeth glanced between them and sighed, “All of this talk of heading to bed has made me realize how tired I am myself. I think I will leave you two to the rest of the bottle.”
Colin stood, “Allow me to escort you back-”
“No!” Elizabeth blurted, Pen wasn’t sure why Elizabeth was so eager to escape the table without her husband. Surely if Pen and Colin were making her uncomfortable with their trip down memory lane, she would have been insisting he join her to keep the two apart.
Instead, Colin nodded his head and retook his seat as Elizabeth exited the room. He poured himself another glass and drank it in one gulp. He poured again, only to discover the bottle was empty.Frustrated, he sighed, “Sorry, Pen. I’ll have the footman grab us another bottle.”
He tried to rise, but Penelope put a hand on his wrist to stop him, “It’s best if you do not. I have already had two glasses too many, and I could say the same for you. It will be a miracle if I can ever remember this night tomorrow. I cannot recall the last time I drank so much.”
“I cannot recall the last time I did so… happily,” He smiled widely at her and Penelope couldn’t help but match his grin. They broke into fits of giggles.
Penelope leaned forward, “Do you remember the time Benedict snuck Eloise and I into Anthony’s study so we could try our first glass of brandy? When you entered the room, I was terrified we had been caught, but then you grabbed the bottle out of Benedict’s hand and claimed you needed it more.”
Colin closed some of the distance between them, “And then we heard Anthony in the hall, so Benedict created a distraction, so we could sneak out the window.”
“My dress was not made for scaling trees, but you were there to catch me at the bottom.”
“You were as beautiful then as you are now,” Colin chuckled, his cheeks turning red like the wine. He amended, “And you fell rather gracefully.”
Ignoring the first compliment, as Colin had kept his word and mentioned her beauty at least once a day, Pen replied to the second part, “Could you tell my mother that? She bloody near sent me to the country for tearing that gown. She thought I had done it on purpose!”
Colin narrowed his eyes at her, “Did you?”
“I’ll never tell… but I won’t say it was a tragedy to lose it.” Penelope finished the last sip from her glass, as she lowered it, she felt Colin’s hungry gaze on her mouth. She couldn’t help but lick the droplets that clung to her top lip. His eyes darkened and her breathing slowed. It was only then that she realized she never released her grip on his arm.
On the contrary, her grip had tightened. She could feel his pulse racing under his skin. Colin reached out and tucked a piece of hair behind her ear.
“Pen, you need not ask if I remember.” Colin was close enough that she could feel his warm breath on her cheeks, “I remember everything.”
Her breath caught as she could see him leaning forward, taking her lips in his slowly. First in question to see if it was acceptable, then keeping the gentle pace to ensure he was tasting every part of her mouth. Encouraging his feast, she’d lay down on the dining room table as he lowered his weight onto her.
He was so close, she could taste it.
But a woman starving cannot feast on fantasies, so she shook the images from her mind. Committed to her fast, Penelope leaned back in her chair. The darkness faded from his eyes as he mimicked her movements and leaned away from her.
They sat in each other’s presence for a quiet moment, neither one able to acknowledge the desire that had just transpired, nor willing to be the first to leave the table.
“It has been lovely having you here. Having you both here,” Penelope finally said.
Colin blinked a few times, piecing together the ‘both’ in her statement, “Yes. Uh, Elizabeth has a habit of making friends with everyone she meets.”
“I hope that skill rubs off on me the more time I spend in her company. I look forward to seeing her in London again once the social season begins.”
Colin nodded politely, “I’m certain she would like that… although, I must admit I wasn’t sure you would feel that way.”
Penelope thought carefully about how to proceed, but thought honesty was what he deserved, “I wasn’t sure I would either, to be honest. But, these past two weeks have been… healing. Hopefully for us both.”
He gave a pained smile, “It has been, Pen. I knew I missed you, in ways that…” He shook his head, unwilling to complete that thought. “But, I didn’t realize how much I missed our friendship. What we had before… before everything else.”
“I missed our friendship, dearly. Almost as much…” Penelope wished she had a glass of water, this wine was opening her mouth more than she was comfortable with.
Colin didn’t miss a beat, “Elizabeth and I will be heading to Greece in a few weeks. Perhaps… I was thinking… Could I write to you?”
“Yes,” Penelope answered without a second thought. She almost felt guilty, her husband was going so far north he wouldn’t be able to send her letters and here she was living for the promise of a word from another man. Any guilt she had evaporated when the tension left Colin’s shoulders with one deep exhale.
She hadn’t realized he had been so scared to ask her and her heart filled at the sight of his relief.
He smiled into his lap, “Good. Good, I’ve missed our correspondence. Writing to you is, well, it’s second nature.” He pulled at a loose thread in the tablecloth, “In the past, when I’ve had to travel without promise of your letters, it almost felt pointless. I was seeing so much, learning from every person I met and museums I wandered through, but I had no one to share it with. It was like growing in a cage. I felt it, but it could not reach outside myself. Hearing your thoughts on it all, made it real.”
Penelope’s lips parted at the confession. She tried to absorb the meaning but it was hard in the midst of her wine-induced brain fog. “So… you wish for me to write you back?”
He blinked, also seeming to have a hard time grasping her words, “Uh, I thought… I guess… In the past, you always responded so…”
“I would love to respond to your letters, Colin.” He searched her eyes for the ‘but’ and she had to remind them both of why corresponding to one another like they used to could be a bad idea, “But would Elizabeth find it objectionable?”
Colin chuckled darkly and it set Penelope’s nerves on fire, “My wife seems to think I do not have enough friends. I believe she will be relieved to have me out of her hair for a bit.”
“Then it is decided,” Pen held out a hand.
Colin smiled mischievously and placed his in hers, “I will write to you when I am away.”
“And I will write you back,” Penelope grinned ear to ear as they shook on it. Her hands shaking from the thrill of the contact. From the wine, she mentally corrected herself.
